Wednesday, August 12, 2009

delapanjam

KECIL,,,
aku baru sebentar mengenalmu,
tapi syukurku kita langsung terikat

KECIL,,,
mengapa kau hela beban sebesar itu sendirian??
mengapa kau selalu mengkhawatirkan orang lain, sementara kau alpha pada dirimu sendiri

KECIL,,,
tak bosankah kau iritkan dialogmu pada wanita itu
tak lelahkah kau menyimpan bara pada perempuan itu

KECIL,,,
kau bilang memang sudah seperti itu wataknya
apapun yang kau lakukan, pasti salah

yaah...
aku belum bisa bilang apapun, selain kalimat klise "yang sabar ya..."
karna memang aku tidak memahi orang yang tidak kau sukai itu
akupun benci kalimat itu.
seringkali begitu

***

aaaahh...
sebenarnya tak pantas kau ku'embel'i KECIL
dari tubuh sudah jelas kau menjulang seperti cemara
apalagi pikiranmu...
bisa jadi kamu lebih dewasa daripadaku

yaaah...
memang cuma dari usiamu yang terpaut cukup jauh
yang membuat kau ku'embel'i KECIL

tapi
KECIL,,,
sungguh...
kau memang masih terlalu KECIL untuk menanggung semuanya sendirian

setidaknya
ceritakan padaku
walapun itu takkan membantu apapun
paling tidak aku bisa memahami bagaimana rasanya di posisimu

sudahlah KECIL,,,
bermainlah seperti manusia sebayamu

dan juga,,,
lepaskan kebencian itu,
pada ibumu...

3 comments:

  1. hmmm...i know what u mean laaah (orang singapore mode:on)

    makanya lo k belanda aja temenin si bocah itu....kan lo psikolog.... :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Pernah Benci, tp sdh memaafkan.
    sebaliknya ngk tau, biarkah ibuku memikir sendiri...
    setiap manusia punya kesalahan, setiap manusia merasa salah.
    saya sama ibu ngk bisa dan ngk akan bersama dengan setia....
    kucoba untuk kasih apapun jang saya punya dengan cinta, tp selalu saya bersalah.....
    saya udah ngk nahan lagi, dn kita berpisah saja...saya udah sabar, tp otakku udah mau meledak !
    stress, sudah 2 hari ngk tidur.
    dan saya ngk bisa main dengan temanku, krn ngk punya teman seusiaku.
    biarkah saya 13tahun, tp keliatanya lebih....
    I DON'T CARE ANYMORE, ABOUT ANYTHING...
    (it's really hard to discribe)

    ______________________________________________

    i just wanna be happy, and be myself !
    i wanna be a little bit more free !!
    and that people accept me ass who I AM !
    i don't want that people wanna change me couse i am not good enough,,,,,
    i am happy who i am, i don't wanna change for people....
    i wanna have a feeling that i am save...
    i know bad/hard things can happend in life...
    and i accept that, but for almost 7years to be calm,,,,hmm....and give a good oppinion for my mum but she don't agree with it,and she just wanna go her own way, so i wanna have a OWN WAY to....it isn't fair what she does/did.
    she don't thing clearly, she things i am a EGOIST.
    and she things she can say everything to everyone about me (JUST THE BAD THINGS).
    then she has i DAMN wrong, I AM HER CHILD not her DOG. she even don't know what i like,what i want,what i need,what i think .
    i had accept almost all her dissicions, and my oppinion wasn't important for her so...i hsd leave her alone and give her some space to thing about her dissicions that she make.
    she always thing bad about me, and says that i don't have respect for her, but the one who don't have respect is her. she is my mum, she have to learn me things about respect that she wants and give the good assample.
    but the only thing i did was looking all around me to find good respect,things,oppinions,love,attention.
    maybe it's not compleet, but how can i learn all these things without good parents.
    ______________________________________________

    THIS WEEK, ISN'T THE BEST WEEK.....
    (only stress,pain,illnes)

    ReplyDelete